How to Find a Surrogate

For those who are beginning the process of growing their family through surrogacy, learning how to find a surrogate mother in Maryland, Washington, D.C., or Virginia is probably a looming task for you. Finding a surrogate that you connect with and feel that you can trust with the most precious task of carrying your child is, of course, an integral part of the surrogacy process for intended parents.

While Jennifer and Catelyn do not provide matching services for hopeful parents, we can offer you our experience and advice on how to find a surrogate mother whose surrogacy goals align with your own, and we can protect your legal interests throughout the process.

Contact us to learn more about finding a surrogate mother in Virginia, D.C., Maryland, or anywhere in the U.S. Or, start with this overview to gain a better understanding of the ways you can start your search for a surrogate:

How Do You Want to Find a Surrogate Mother?

Many surrogates and intended parents don’t live in the same city or state, so you don’t necessarily have to worry about trying to find a surrogate in Maryland, D.C, or Virginia. As long as one party lives in Maryland, Virginia or the District of Columbia, we can represent any surrogate/intended parent partnership within the United States, even if you live across the country from one another.

There are two different ways you could choose to find a surrogate to work with:

  • Finding a surrogate through a program or “agency”: You can work with surrogate programs to match with women who are pre-screened and signed on with the agency. This means you don’t have to do any of the searching and screening yourself — the matching professional will complete all the necessary services for you throughout the process, including referring you to an attorney to handle the legal aspects of surrogacy.
  • Looking for a surrogate mother without an agency or program: When you find a surrogate for hire via personal networking, you’ll need to work with a surrogacy attorney to complete the legal stages of your surrogacy process. Jennifer Fairfax has experience helping intended parents searching for a surrogate on their own and can represent you throughout your journey.

If you’re not sure how you’d like to begin looking for a surrogate, contact us now. We can advise you about which option may be a better fit for you based on your needs and goals. No matter which search method you choose, we can still represent you through the complex legal steps of your surrogacy process.

What Are You Looking for in a Surrogacy Plan?

When you contact us and schedule your initial consultation, we can walk you through all of the choices that you can explore during your surrogacy process so that you can make informed decisions about the best options for you. This includes the different options of how to get a surrogate mother in D.C., VA, MD or anywhere in the U.S.

You may already have a vision in your head of the perfect surrogate match when you begin looking for a surrogate mother in Maryland, Virginia or Washington, D.C. Or maybe you’re not sure what you’re looking for in a surrogacy partner, but you know that your goals for the process will need to be similar. When you contact us, we’ll be able to talk about all of this and more, including things like budget, whether or not you’ll be working with an egg or sperm donor and how much you’d like to keep in contact with your surrogate during the pregnancy.

How Will You Match with a Surrogate?

Much of the process of how to find a surrogate in Virginia, Maryland, D.C. or another state will depend on whether or not you work with a surrogacy program to find that match. Here are the differences between those two options:

  • When working with a matching program:
    First, you’ll need to decide if you want to work with an “attorney-run program” or a program that is not run by an attorney.  Attorney-run programs are just as they sound — a licensed attorney who is practicing law has a matching program within their office.  You retain the attorney who handles not only matching but also the legal steps involved in surrogacy. The surrogate is recruited by the lawyers’ program, and when it comes to her legal representation, she is referred to separate counsel. 

    A program that is not run by an attorney focuses exclusively on matching and coordinating the process and services involved, and both parties have separate counsel to handle the legal issues throughout the entire process.  One option is not better — rather, they are different, and it is important for you to decide what kind of experience you are looking for and what you want for your gestational carrier.  To learn more about this option and the two types of matching programs, contact Jennifer or Catelyn. 

    Once you decide which kind of program you want to use, you’ll need to meet the program’s intended parent requirements. Then, the program will begin looking for a surrogate mother in the District of Columbia, Maryland, Virginia and beyond and will send you profiles of possible surrogates you could match with. Your program may also have available surrogate situations listed on their website, so intended parents who have been screened and met the requirements may immediately match with those waiting surrogates.
     

  • When looking for a surrogate mother on your own:
    Jennifer Fairfax is adept at helping intended parents who are hiring a surrogate independently. So, if you don’t already personally know someone who wants to be your surrogate, we may be able to help point you in the right direction of how to find a surrogate mom using methods like “surrogate wanted” ads, surrogacy classifieds, online forums or listservs or through our professional connections.

What Kind of Relationship Do You Want to Share With Your Surrogate?

When you create a surrogacy contract with your attorney and your surrogate, you’ll have the opportunity to discuss the social roles that everyone wants to have throughout the surrogacy process, for example, how much you’d like to be involved in the birth.

For many surrogates and intended parents, their unique bond lasts long after the surrogacy journey is over, and they choose to remain in touch. Others prefer to have a more professional relationship with less contact and more privacy. Whatever you and your surrogate feel most comfortable with is entirely fine. We can establish whatever you prefer in your contracts.

Remember that if you’re choosing a surrogate mother outside of Maryland, Virginia or D.C., long-distance surrogacy matches are common and won’t affect your ability to share the relationship you want to have with your surrogate. There is minimal travel required in the course of the surrogacy process, and surrogacy partners often keep in touch regardless of distance.

The experience that surrogates and intended parents share together is incredibly special, unique and fulfilling. So it’s important that you find a surrogate in D.C., MD, VA or another state with whom you share a bond and you feel that you can trust. Contact us now to learn more about how to find a surrogate mother in Maryland, Virginia, Washington, D.C., and beyond, and how we can represent your family through your surrogacy journey.

“I believe in working with each of my clients—in support of their family dynamic—to make the dreams of parenthood a reality. Whether you are single or married; or gay; a step-parent, a surrogate or intended parent or a child of adoption, it is my mission to serve as your advocate. With a dedication to the ethical and sensitive nature of each situation, I will help you understand the laws within Maryland or Washington, DC for adoption or surrogacy, and pledge to be your partner throughout the journey.” - Jennifer Fairfax

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